I have never questioned my identity as much as I did post divorce. I always knew who I was:

Name: Adele Sim
Race: Chinese
Religion: Catholic
Marital Status: Married…

Except I am no longer married. But neither am I single. Or am I?

Right until a few years ago, I have noticed I have brand new options: “Divorced / Widowed.” And in my mind, I always imagined circling “widowed” and then making up a story about how he died.

Usually in a gruesome accident involving rat poison and an injection of the HIV into his blood stream. Oh but who fed him the poison and who injected the HIV. When and how did I find out? How long ago was this? Was he murdered by his mistress? The same woman I saw him bed with? Wait, am I now involved in some legal case to prosecute the murderer?

“Excuse me, Miss… are you done with the form?”

DIVORCED.

And there it is. Every form I was reminded of my divorce. I think if I did not have a child, I would just circle “single” and screw all the questions and discrimination that was looming like a dark cloud on everyone’s perfectly sunny day.

Marital status: Divorced
Children: One
Age of Child(ren): 12

Next Section…

Spouse: (Dead)… “N/A”
Occupation: (Adulterer)… “Unknown”
Mobile number: (666)… “N/A”

And the questions go on and on. Every time a form comes up due for completion I often wonder, is this really how we define ourselves and is this really who we are?